Remembering 9/11/01

I find it fascinating that, for my generation and older, the date September 11, sticks out in our minds. Like a birthday, anniversary, holiday or any tragic day, that date, those numbers, signify something - no matter who you are. We might wake up on any September 11th and go about our day like it was September 10th or 12th, but something clicks in our minds, where we hesitate, even for one second, and think: oh yeah, it's that day. Fortunately, I didn't know anyone who was lost that day, so this is how I, personally, view it. I didn't really mourn today. I didn't feel particularly patriotic or sad. I wasn't compelled to fly an American flag out my window or bow my head in silence during those 4 fateful moments of the day. I can't imagine how painful today has been for the past 6 years for people who actually have lost a loved one. I can't imagine how I'd feel if that was how someone I loved was killed. However, despite not having a personal connection to the attacks of Sept. 11th, it is no ordinary day for me, or anyone else that feels the same way I do. I am sure of that.

I also find it fascinating that if you asked me what I did, say, last Tuesday, and where I was at, say, 10am, I couldn't tell you. But if you asked me - and probably any one else who lived in America, or even abroad - where I was the moment the planes crashed into the towers on September 11, 2001, I could tell you every single detail. I was driving to work (I went to college and worked part time) in downtown Baltimore and listening to Elliot in the Morning on DC101 describe to listeners the live events as they were playing out on TV in their studio. I remember a moment of panic, looking up into the clear Baltimore City sky, wondering if there was a massive attack on major cities (and whether Baltimore was considered a "major city"). As soon as I arrived at work, half the employees were huddled around the office kitchen TV, covering their mouths in shock, a few running out to call friends or loved ones in NYC. I remember calling my boyfriend at the time to make sure he was ok, and trying to reach several friends I had in the Financial District. I ended up staying glued to the television set. I couldn't pull myself away.

During Labor Day weekend in 2001, I was visiting NYC. On Monday night, at the end of the long weekend, I glanced out of the passenger window as the Greyhound bus came out of the Holland tunnel. I remember, vividly, noticing the beautiful, striking skyline of the city. I was eyeing each touristic building, thinking of places I've seen and hadn't seen - Empire State, yup, been there. Chrysler building, check. World Trade Center...hmm, never been. I especially remember noticing the two towers stand out as tallest among the other skyscrapers and thinking to myself, "I really ought to visit that the next time I come back." 8 days later, the September 11th attacks occurred and they were demolished. That day, I did mourn. I did feel patriotic, joining a candlelight vigil in my neighborhood, and hanging an American flag on my door. I felt deeply sad for all the lives that were lost, the bodies that were never found. I felt disbelief for the fact that this was a deliberate attack so close to my home, to my friends and family, and on U.S. turf. I wasn't thinking about the politics behind it, the wars that would ensue, and the rapid decline of American support that would follow, thanks to the Bush Administration.

Six years later, I cannot say I am still deeply affected when September 11th comes around. I can't say that I am saddened and I want to take the day to mourn. But I still remember. And I probably will always remember exactly where I was and what I was doing the moments the towers came down. It is a day that has gone down in world history, and I experienced it, although distantly, just like everyone else.