&^#@$*%!!!!!

Ok I set out to do this blog mostly for myself but I can't ignore the fact that it's public to pretty much anyone. Even though it's still in the beginning stages, it's become quite a struggle for me: how personal do I want to get? I knew when I started that I didn't want to become too personal, too whiny or to use this as a channel for complaining or ranting. I wanted it to be free-flowing, stream-of-consciousness-type writing, but, clearly, it's turned out to be more formal than I planned. The posts have become contrived and prepared in my head before they are typed out. I can't deny that I have an audience, albeit small audience :). The private/public issue is an important one for me - not because I can be judged; I don't give a shit about that. But I find that I am censoring myself out of protection of identity. Future employers, schools, not to mention my very traditional family, could access this site very easily, and how detrimental could that be to me? I promised myself I would be as honest as possible, but how can I do that if I am censoring my thoughts on the site? Hmm, I guess I do care about being judged. Not by strangers or even friends, but more by people who really aren't intended to see this blog anyway. To be continued. . .