If there is one thing that makes me jealous of boys - no, it's not that they pee standing up and it takes them literally 10 seconds to do the deed - it's the loyalty they have among each other. Don't get me wrong, I love being a girl and I'm pretty good at it. I wouldn't have it any other way. But this whole loyalty thing definitely needs some work among the sisters. Men easily find common ground and immediately a connection is born. Two men could be complete strangers in a sports bar, but given that they are both rooting for the Redskins, they high-five, buy each other beers, and chat for 4 hours straight. Where do we women develop that kind of immediate bond? Maaaaaaybe in the store fitting rooms ("oh honey that's not the right color for you"). I've observed this brotherly behavior among boys and it makes me insanely envious. Loyalty is one of the most significant values for me in any relationship - with boy or girl. I have always been intensely loyal, even to the point where it probably did me more harm than good. Friendships have come and gone in my life due to loyalty (or lack thereof) and to this day I am still trying to find the right balance because it's truly challenging to find loyalty in a girl-girl friendship or even a girl-boy friendship. It floors me that men have each other's backs no matter what. Men empathize wholeheartedly with each other. In environments where there is no competition, male strangers become fast friends and a support for each other. There is an unspoken brotherhood, where each man stands behind the other, in any situation. The only devotion like that I have ever seen was from my family. Men hold onto friendships through distance, time, marriages, children, fallouts, differences, anything. They can go for years without speaking, and pick up where they left off. And the best part: if there is ever a disagreement, they say their piece, apologize and move on. No such things as grudges in the brotherhood. Isn't that amazing, girls??
I'm not sure what it is exactly. I've tried to be a part of it. But it's just not possible, I'm still a girl. If ever I tried to break into the brotherhood, I was either viewed as a prospective conquest or just ignored altogether as a wanna-be. I have learned to accept this, and we girls have many other qualities to make up for the loyalty thing. Most male friendships are far more superficial than female friendships; women have more depth and expectations to their relationship. But in spite of this male superficiality or unspoken bond, it never ceases to amaze me how far, long, wide and timeless the circle of brotherhood can be.
2 comments:
you think so?
I've found immense loyalty in my female friends. I have at least 3 girlfriends on whom I would bank my life.
Men may be loyal, but their relationships seem shallow. Maybe I'm missing something, but I feel like men often rely on their girlfriends to spill their emotional and personal troubles. Most guys I know lose a majority of their friends by their late twenties. Most older men are only friends with their wives' friends' husbands.
hmm guess it depends on the person. nope, the guys i have known have been there for each other through thick and thin. cannot say the same for girls. i dunno, the kind of support male friends provide each other is different. it has no expiration or geographic boundaries. girls kinda make a fuss about anything and everything (like getting to a friend in an emergency). guys just do it.
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