The Family Factor

You know, it's not that I am completely oblivious, but I'm constantly reminded when I go home to my family, how much crap they'd do for me. It's hard to explain if you haven't been raised by Iranians, but I can say without doubt or hesitation that Iranian parents are the most selfless, giving, caring parents there are. Sure, their upbringing had the occasional unforgettable traumatic moments (packing colorful persian lunches during elementary school when all I wanted was a bologna sandwich like the other kids; never being allowed to have pets; bringing in Persian New Year "sweets" to my entire American classmates; never being allowed to sleep over a friend's house; having a boyfriend? HA!; instilling strict and conservative- and sometime judgmental- values in me; overbearing concern for strenuous physical activities; too much worrying; etc. etc. etc.). I realize now their best intentions and all those embarrassments were for my own good. But, even to this day, my dad (the early bird) has breakfast ready for me in the morning, my mom scurries to have my favorite meals in line for my weekend stay, my dad is prepared to run errands for me (if I have any), my mom wants to take me out for a "moneecoor and peddycoor", my dad ensures I have my asthma medicine, my mom ensures I have enough vegetables and fruit back in DC (yes, mom, they have grocery stores here): it's like I'm a celebrity guest. Now some of you may mistake their behavior for spoiling their youngest child, but I have observed how they are toward my adult brother and sister too. There is no end to their thoughtfulness, selflessness, constant concern and willingness to help us in the most minute ways. I am always amazed. No matter where I am in the world, if I needed help, my family would drop everything and be by my side. Perhaps it is my Americanness that allows me to forget and to be so amazed by my family. But I wonder to myself: will I be this way too? I certainly don't feel it now. I'm very much in my own world and self-involved and certainly don't struggle to change that. . .yet. I like to think with all the Iranian traditions they've drilled in me since I was born, the most valued virtue of doing anything for your children, has been locked away somewhere in my subconscious, until my maternal instincts kick in. My mom has always said "you don't know until you have one of your own." I have witnessed those parental changes in own brother and sister. So there's hope yet.

Until then, I'm forced to take the folded bills my dad shoves into my wallet everytime I see him. Even at 27.