You're Putting that Tube WHERE?

The past ten days have been very hectic, what with finishing up projects at work during my last week of employment, my dance performances, and trying to milk my insurance for every drop I can get with doctors' appointments before it is terminated. Not to mention the most unusual stomach problems I've been having. I don't want to disclose too much information (although I'm sure you are most curious as to how my digestive system has been functioning lately *burp*), but I basically noticed my stomach is sore to the touch and it's definitely not any muscle cramping. Plus, every single painful and worrisome digestive problem you can imagine (please go ahead and use that imagination), I have had. So thanks to our lovely healthcare system, it took me over a week to find a freakin' gastroenterologist in DC's 20 mile radius who would see me (new patients are not priority). After much examining, poking and probing (not the fun kind, either), the doc says either I have an ulcer, some "-itis" illnesses he listed off, OR parasites which I picked up from beloved Turkey. Woohoo! Regardless, he won't know until I have an endoscopy and colonoscopy. To the layman, that means they have to drug me and shove a tubed camera down my throat and up my asshole.

Me and my big mouth. As overwhelmed as I am trying to sort things out before the school semester starts, I just HAD to blab my problems to a doctor and get this bomb dropped on me. I'm really not taking it seriously and view all of this as more of an inconvenience (and stress) than anything else. I'd just prefer to be blissfully ignorant and happily popping pills until whatever I have goes away...no need to shove any tubes down anything, thankyouverymuch.

Alas, my parents are super-worriers and I have to get the endoscopy done (tube down throat to view the stomach) and I'm praying we'll figure out what's going on there before I need the colonoscopy (tube up ass to view intestines and colons). I am WAY too damn health-conscious and young to be dealing with this shit. No pun intended. I wouldn't wish this on my enemy. Cross your fingers that the pain goes away and my endoscopy resolves the current problem.